Or some sort of PvP ranking system that intelligently adjusts damage based on your KDR and your KPM. This sounds infinitely more interesting than fucking around with PailStone.

Add some other features as well like 'broadcast deaths'.
So we see in chat
Hit_girl killed intertoothh with a brink block.
Hit_girl killed intertoothh with a arrow.
Hit_girl killed intertoothh with a iron sword.
Intertoothh dropped to its death.
Intertoothh drowed.
Hit_girl got killed by a spider.
etc etc etc (it must be existing btw its so simple and fun).