I'll get im' hot. Show im' what I got.
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Bucky!!! Just drop that thing!!!

Bucky jumps back to try and escape the grasp of the snarling Zombie grabbing for his head, he shields the toastie maker in his arms. His feet move quickly to stay one step ahead but another Zombie is approaching fast from behind. He notices it and throw himself forward again, connecting his forehead with the nose of the Zombie in front of him. It stuns it momentarily. Enough time to spin around and push back the other one.

‘Good God Lim! You wanted that gun! Use it already!’ Cherry shouts, his eyes pinned on the fracas happening before them.
‘The car!’ Lim shouts, his hands trembling.
‘What?’
‘The car! It’s alarmed! If I shoot it, the noise would attract every Zombie in the area…’

The car sits between them and Bucky. It is no more than a few feet away from either.

‘So just don’t hit the car then Lim!’ Greasy shouts, making his way down a flight of stairs behind the Survivors.
‘And what if I hit Bucky!? I don’t remember saying I was a good shot! God damn it, I wish he’d drop that stupid toastie maker’

Just as Lim says this, Bucky kicks one of his attackers back slightly then brings the toastie maker hard down on it’s head sending it crashing to the ground, just as the other assailant throws itself on to his back. He drops forward slightly so the Zombie loses its grip then brains it completely with the toastie maker. It’s limp body falls harmlessly to the ground. Bucky raises to his feet, looking relieved.

‘Haha. Maybe he shouldn’t drop it. It’s turned out to be more effective than that gun’ Cherry laughs, giving a little wave over to Bucky.
‘Hey guys!’ Greasy shouts up from the bottom of the stairs. He is peering through a hole in the wall. ‘It looks like there’s a safe room down here’
‘Oh thank God. My hearts going a mile a minute here’ Cherry says, putting his foot on the first step.
‘Look out Bucky, there’s another one!!’ Lim shouts.

Bucky turns quickly and is instantly confronted with another snarling faced Zombie. It is very close and coming in fast. Without thinking, he throws the toastie maker and it connects with the Zombie’s head in mid-air. Both it and the Zombie are thrown backward from the meeting. The toastie maker gets thrown toward Bucky but is too high for him to grasp. The Survivors blood runs cold as the toastie maker hangs in the air. It seems to take an age up there, then comes crashing down on the bonnet of the car. Bucky, Lim and Cherry cringe in unison, waiting for the ear-piercing siren to come. But, it doesn’t.

The Zombie writhes on the ground, trying to scramble to it’s feet. Bucky takes a step back to turn and run but is cut off by Lim-Dul, who walks by him and puts a bullet right between the Zombies eyes.

‘Let’s get the hell away from this car. There’s a safe room downstairs’ Lim says, tucking the gun into his trousers. ‘Please just leave that thing Bucky. We can’t risk setting off the alarm’
‘Yeah OK. Shame though man, I was really looking forward to my toastie’
‘Hehe, yeah, I know. Maybe we can find something else to eat along the…’
‘Hello’

A man standing by the stairs, holding a shotgun and wearing a large rucksack stops Lim and Bucky in their tracks. He has a rather goofy grin on his face.

‘Oh hey. You’re not a Zombie’ Lim says, perking up a little.
‘No, I’m Captain Awesome’ He replies.
‘Hehe. Well, nice to meet you Cap…’

Before Lim can finish, Captain Awesome cocks his gun and blasts the side of the alarmed car with his shotgun. The sound of the alarm fills the street and the almighty roar of the infected horde accompanies it.

‘What THE… RUN!!!’ Lim screams, launching himself toward the stairs, which Cherry is already bounding down himself.

Bucky grabs his toastie maker from the bonnet of the car, realising there’s no risk of setting of the alarm when it’s already sounding. His feet pound the ground furiously as the horde pour into the street from all sides. As he reaches the top of the stairs, he notices Captain Awesome smiling at him, then practically throws himself to the bottom. The horde moves faster than normal humans. There is no time for caution.

‘Hurry Bucky!’ Cherry shouts, beckoning with his arms out of the safe room door.

Bucky runs through what looks like an old stock room, pursued by the mindless monsters that are hot on his tail. He throws the toastie maker into the safe room then makes a desperate leap inside. He slides past Cherry, who instantly slams and locks the door closed behind him. He leans against the wall and lets out a sigh of relief.

‘HEY!’

The voice surprises them all. It is Captain Awesome whose face is poking through the barred opening on the door. He is clearly being chewed on by the amassing Zombie horde.

‘LET ME IN!!!’ He screams, his face contorted in pain.
‘Fuck off!’ Lim shouts, popping himself down on a nearby table.
‘GYAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!’ The screams of pain come from outside.

The Zombies feast greedily, picking Awesome clean. They leave nothing but his belongings. Then eventually, they disperse, into the night, leaving our Survivors alone in the safe room, with nothing but their thoughts to haunt them.

well, I've nicked mcmoists idea for a bit, completely without his permission D; call it an alternative version of events or something (basically, ignore it :p). it's nothing like as good or as funny as mcmoists, I can't do his trademark hilarious banter, but it was fun to write anyway. enjoy, if that's humanly possible.

I should add that it only starts out srs bsns before going completely mad.

-----

With the screams of the late Captain still ringing in their ears, the survivors came to a silent consensus to leave the safe room, having gathered their breathe and their thoughts. Not even Lim Dul argued when Cherry proposed that he retrieve Captain Awesome’s shotgun, for his own safekeeping. He didn’t recognise it as one of those stolen from them. Their exit through the back door into the moonlit alleyway was a silent one; Greasy attempted to make some light conversation, but by the time he was proposing commandeering a boat and heading for the Isle of Man, he was being largely ignored.

Ominously, there were no zombies… that was until they came to the end of the alleyway. They looked out across the street; illuminated by a perfect sphere of light from an overhead lamppost, a single infected stood precisely in the middle of the mouth of the opposite alley. The alley which they were intent on going down.

They stood rooted to the spot, gazing dumbly at the zombie blocking their path. It didn’t stare back.

“Well, shit”
“What?”, said Lim Dul. “It’s only one zombie – we’re going to have to go through hundreds of them if we’re going to get to the hospital any time soon. Hasta lavista, no-brains!” he says as he aimed the barrel of his pistol at the infected.
“Wait! If you shoot that, then we’ll have every zombie in the neighbourhood coming for us!”, protests Cherry
“If you’ve got a better idea, I’d like to hear it.” Replies Lim, his gun still levelled.
“We could go up and club him in the back of the head, that wouldn’t make much of a fuss”, Greasy suggests.
“But we’ve got to keep our distance, those things are dangerous!” cries Cherry dramatically indicating the zombie in question, which promptly dribbled a bit.
“Oh come on! We’ve got to kill it, or it’ll kill us, just like any other one would! You guys are pathetic” says Lim with resolution in his tone, taking one last look down the barrel.

“Nah… this one’s different.” Everyone turns to look at Bucky, who had been silent up till now. His expression was a knowing smile, which may or may not have had anything to do with his heavy intake of ganja.
“Umm… it’s a zombie. IT’S NOT DIFFERENT! It’ll tear your brains out if it gets half the chance… that’s if you have any!”, an exasperated Lim Dul cries.
“Nuh-uh man, you’re wrong. We gave this fookah more than half a chance while we’ve been standing here chatting about the weather. Besides, he is different. I know.”

And as if on queue, the zombie lumbered his arm upwards…
“Is he… waving, at us?” Greasy whispered.

They stared… they stared for a long time, as the infected laborousily directed itself at them, and shifted awkwardly towards the middle of the road. Bucky took a bold step forward.

“What the fuck are you…”
“Relax, man!” says Bucky, who looked like this was the sort of thing he went out and did every weekend.

The rest, exchanging glances that were somewhere between nervous doubts and “I want to kill this guy at the first possible opportunity”, followed a few paces behind. Bucky and the infected met precisely in the middle of the road, and when they did the survivors got a better look at their visitor. He was short, and that he was stooped as he shuffled added to the impression. Clinging to him were the remains of a Denmark football and mismatched Hawaiin shorts. With it’s green complexion, it reminded Greasy vaguely of a goblin from a board game he had played.

Still with a face of impassive glee, Bucky bent to so that his face was at level with the zombie’s. “Whatcha doin, fella?” he asked, beaming.

The infected turned his head upwards to face Bucky, who noticed that it had an eye missing. Then it opened it’s mouth, a motion at which Lim again aimed his pistol at the zombie’s head. “S’alright”, Bucky reassured him. It’s mouth opened wider still, and from it came protruding a slightly rotten zombie tongue. Bucky recoiled only slightly at the unearthly breath this produced. The zombie moved it’s tongue slowly – oh so very slowly – outwards, searching the air around it. Nobody breathed a word. It kept protruding until, finally, it came to rest on the skin of Bucky’s cheek. In one agonisingly slow motion, the zombie – oh yes – licked his face, right the way from the bottom of his cheek to his forehead, leaving a slightly green trail behind… and then stopped.

“…dude.” Lim Dul said. Greasy had gone white; Cherry, green; even the totally whacked Bucky looked vaguely disturbed by what had just happened.

Without warning, the zombie snapped his tongue back inside with mouth with the speed at which a ruler retracts itself, then squawked something incomprehensible in gibberish zombie-speak, before letting forth a high pitched cackle. Cherry threw up indiscreetly behind them.

“See? I told you he was normal!” beamed Bucky, starting to join in with his own stoned chuckle.

Lim Dul looked down at the zombie with disgust and disbelief for a few moments longer – even he was lost for words – before pacing towards the alley they had been aiming for, shaking his head. Cherry, having recovered a bit, also went to join him, but his eyes were looking anywhere other than at the offending creature.

“Do you think he’d like my pills?”, Greasy timidly asks no-one in particular.
“I dunno, but he’s wanting my cheese sandwich!” replied Bucky, backing up from the infected now reaching for his coat pocket, making sounds like that of a gurgling toddler.
“Umm… yeah. I’m gonna go… catch up with… them. Yeah.” Greasy made a hurried escape. Bucky paused only to light up a fresh joint and grin to himsself, before meandering down the alley with a whistle. What’s more, the zombie followed him, cooing and gurgling at everything around him like he’s never seen the world before, occasionally giggling a little to himself after murmuring some unintelligible Zombie.

On their journey to the Hospital – which may or may not be complete, be eventful or involve mass molestation of zombies or survivors, I’m not telling – the survivors become comfortable with the sometimes erratic presence of their infected friend. He was harmless, curious, a bit of light diversion and the occasional punching bag when anyone needed to let out some rage. And he never stopped gargling rubbish to anyone who would listen or laughing away for no reason at all.

Eventually, it was decided that they would call him Popper.

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ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: true genius
ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: doesn't make sense
ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: till you're senseless

Nice one mate.

You kinda hijacked my thread, but nice one nonetheless.

thanks. ignore it and go with your own storyline tbh, cos it's your thing, mine was just a bit of fun.

also, writing stuff makes you fuckin' hungry

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ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: true genius
ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: doesn't make sense
ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: till you're senseless

OH NOES I DIED.. clearly wrong, since a real cpt.awesome shoots the car and than is the first one in the safe room... get your facts straight mcmoist! but still fucking AWESOME!!! <3 <3 <3

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Sebas the avenging zebra's sidekick! <3

The last line of that...


Gotta say i like the stories, though gotta ask: Will any of us from the l4d vs games be appearing?

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he'll kill us off anyways, the whole idea is 4 survivors, he has them

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Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most.

‘Why would somebody even do something like that?’ Greasy asked, breaking the silence. It seems to jolt everybody out of their own head.
‘God knows’ Lim says, banging his head lightly against the wall he is leaning against.
‘Under these kind of circumstances, I don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine that somebody could lose their mind. Especially if they’re alone’ Cherry says.
‘Well there’s a nice thought. We met a man in the street, unfortunately he was mentally ill, so we let him die a horrifying death in front of our eyes. Does our benevolence and understanding know no bounds?’ Greasy says, hoisting himself to his feet.
‘Or maybe he was just an asshole! Would that make you feel any better about it?’ Lim retorts. ‘And anyway, even if he was mentally ill, he still shot that fucking car! I’m not going anywhere with the car shooter, dude! I’m afraid my understanding gets stretched pretty thin when hundreds of flesh eating Zombies are baying for my blood. Bucky, what are you doing?’

Bucky has plugged his toastie maker into an outlet and is flicking the switch.

‘There must be power in here, the lights on’ Bucky replies, keeping his attention on the machine.
‘No, I think the light must be hard wired to a generator outside this room. I tried switching that PC on when we came in’ Lim replies, sitting up straight.
‘Outside this door?’ Bucky asks pointing to the opposite safe room door, to the one they entered in.
‘Yes’ Lim nods wearily.
‘Well then I’m gonna go out there and plug this into it. Have myself some bread fokkers’
‘Jesus Bucky, don’t go out there!’ Lim shouts. The raised voices seem to muster some kind of audible response from outside the door. Zombies. Lim talks again, this time lowering his voice. ‘You can’t go out there. I mean, apart from the fact it’s pitch black, I don’t think making a snack is a good enough reason to let the horde in here’
‘You’re not the leader dude. I’m going out there’ Bucky says, picking up the toastie maker.
‘You can’t do that!’ Lim shouts, jumping off of the table he’s perched on. ‘You’ll kill us all! Christ Bucky, its just a fucking sandwich, can’t you just let it go?’
‘I don’t wanna let it go’
‘Oh, fine then! You go out there, I’ll cover you while you make a toasted cheese sandwich! Haste ye back Zombies. I don’t wanna have to shoot you, but Bucky HAS to have his cheese toastie! Don’t come any closer, I have 14 bullets here! More than enough to kill a fraction of you!’
‘Not to mention that, it looks like your toastie maker is covered in what can only be described as Zombie brain gunk’ Cherry chips in.

Bucky looks at the toastie maker, which is indeed covered in Zombie brain gunk.

‘I just wanted a cheese toasty man. All this shit with these Zombies. People dying all over the place. Just wanted a little slice of normality for a minute or two’

Everybody sympathises with this. Bucky opens up the brain covered toasty maker and takes out the raw sandwich inside. He takes a bite and leans against the counter behind him.

‘Well now that we’ve sorted out that little drama, what’s the plan?’ Cherry asks.
‘I don’t know that there really is one’ Lim replies, popping back down on the table.
‘A drama?’ Cherry asks.
‘No, a plan. That door that Bucky wanted to go through, as I understand, leads down into the subway system. It’s the route we need to take’ Lim explains. ‘And as we’ve already ascertained, it’s in complete darkness’
‘Smells fantastic though’ Greasy coughs, recoiling from the barred opening. ‘Like a Summer Meadow out there’
‘So what? Go back the way we came?’ Bucky asks before taking another bite out of his sandwich.
‘That would be suicide… The place will be crawling with Zombies after that alarm’ Lim says solemnly.
‘Yeah thanks for that Captain Awesome’ Greasy says.
‘You’ll have to talk pretty loud for him to hear you mate’ Cherry says.
‘No, I won’t, he’s staring right at me’

Cherry turns then jumps back quickly. A severely bloodied and obviously Zombified Captain Awesome stares through the bars at them.

‘Jees Greasy, you could have told me he was there!’ Cherry shouts.
‘I just did’
‘How longs he been standing there? Jees, he looks so rough…’
‘Yeah Cherry. He’s a Zombie now. And like all Zombie’s, he’s become a bit of a sheep. Listening to Zombie music, dressing like them, letting his intestines hang to the floor like them. It looks like shit to us, but I bet the Zombie ladies will be all over him. Kids these days, really’
‘Shut up Greasy. Gimme that toasty maker’ Cherry says, grabbing the toasty maker with both hands.

He runs over to the safe room door and smashes it hard against Zombie Awesome’s face. It sends the Zombie careering backward away from the door.

‘Cherry, I think we got revenge enough when we left him out there to die!’ Lim shouts.

Cherry unlocks, then throws open the safe room door.

‘HEY!’ Lim, Greasy and Bucky shout in unison.

Cherry scrambles outside and picks up Awesome’s discarded weapon and gear. He gets back in the safe room just as Zombie Awesome throws himself at it. Cherry locks the door then starts to laugh.

‘OK Lim. You take the peashooter. I’ve got the potato cannon’ Cherry laughs, turning to brandish his new toy.
‘Oh you bastard’ Lim says, looking at his pistol with disdain.
‘And another thing…’ Cherry brings up the barrel of the shotgun and flicks on a flashlight attachment. ‘Let there be light’

Lim’s face lights up. And not just because Cherry is pointing a flashlight at it. Greasy walks over and picks up the rucksack that Awesome had on his back.

‘Let’s see what other goodies he was hoarding’ Greasy says, opening up the bag and looking inside. ‘We have another flashlight. No gun attached to it unfortunately, but it’s better than a kick in the nuts. Um… oh, oh, no, sorry. I thought it was another gun but.. We do have pistol ammo. Did he have a pistol?’

Cherry carefully looks out the barred opening. Looking down, he sees Zombie Awesome chewing on what could very well be his own remains.

‘I don’t see a pistol. We could always kill him and check him thoroughly to make sure’ Cherry says.
‘Forget it. That guy has died enough for one day. This is good, we can move forward now. It still won’t be easy, but it’ll be a lot easier than fumbling about in the dark while Zombies try to kiss us’ Lim-Dul says, having a look through the bag himself.
‘Heh. You’d like a little kissy from the Zombies wouldn’t you Limmy?’ Bucky quips, polishing off his sandwich.
‘Oh God yes. I just love to stick my tongue in their decomposing mouths’ Lim replies sarcastically.
‘Don’t act all innocent. Come to think of it, I don’t think I even had to risk going out there for the flashlights’ Cherry laughs. ‘I’m sure you’ve got Night Vision Goggles packed away somewhere. Or are those just for special occasions?’ Cherry asks.
‘Yeah, occasions when he’s looking through women’s windows at night’ Bucky laughs.
‘Well get them out then Lim. I think I seen a Zombie out there with her tits out’ Greasy shouts, pointing toward the rear safe room door.
‘Yes, very nice. I’m a pervert, and I would be out here fucking all the Zombies if only they weren’t trying to chew my head off of my body’ Lim says, moving toward the rear safe room door.
‘What worries me, is that, that’s the only thing that would actually stop you’ Cherry says, approaching the door himself.
‘Here Greasy. You can be in charge of the flashlight’ Lim says, handing it to him.
‘Oh, bully for me. Will I be able to handle such immense responsibility?’ He quips sarcastically.
‘Shine it down to the floor’ Lim says.

Greasy shines the flashlight through the barred opening. The darkness is illuminated slightly and various figures can be seen milling around in the dark. There also appears to be a massive hole in the floor. The entrance to the Subway is down that hole.

‘That looks like a 7-8ft drop. So be ready for that. And then it’ll be a straight run down those stairs, OK?’ Lim asks, putting his hand on the bar of the door.

The Survivors nod together. Their faces etched with determination, but also fear. Lim lifts the bar keeping the door secured, then kicks it open. The Survivors all recoil instantly.

‘Oh fuck! That stinks!’ Cherry cries.
‘Jesus!’
‘That doesn’t smell like a Summer Meadow Greasy’ Bucky says, covering his nose with his arm.
‘No. It smells like rotting corpses’ Lim says solemnly. ‘Smells like Hell’
‘Does that turn you on?’ Bucky asks laughing from behind his arm.
‘Let’s just go’ Lim says rolling his eyes. He moves out of the door.
‘Don’t let him fool you guys. He’s the only person I’ve ever seen who’s pinned a Hunter before it could pin him. Oh but he had such nice eyes Bucky’ Bucky says as the Survivors move out of the safe room…

…And into the Darkness.

Why are you tortureing(fuck, how u spell it?) awesome?

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Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most.

probably because he shot a car one too many times.

I like the near perfect Bucky Sometimes I can just hear his voice say those lines and its fucking funny

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Da boyz need themselves a Nob they do