I have sourced the following advice on playing/writing a blues (plural "bluei") song from my very good friend James Morrison.

1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning."

2. "I got a good woman," is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line, like "I got a good woman with
the meanest face in town.

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes ... sort of: "Got a good woman - with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher - and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues are not about choice. You stuck in a ditch: You stuck in a ditch, ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys and Cadillacs and broken down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, adulthood means being old enough to get the electric chair
if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City, but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St.Louis, and Kansas City still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the blues.

9. Breaking your leg cuz a' alligator be chomping on it is.

10. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

11. Good places for the Blues:
- Highway
- Jailhouse
- Empty bed

12. Bad places:
- Ashrams
- Gallery openings
- Ivy League institutions
- Golf courses

13. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a' old black man, and you slept in it.

14. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
-you're older than dirt
-you're blind
-you shot a man in Memphis
-you can't be satisfied.

No, if:
-you have all your teeth
-you were once blind but now can see
-the man in Memphis lived.
-you have a retirement plan or trust fund.

15. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

16. If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
-bad wine
-bad whiskey or bad bourbon or bad beer or bad scotch
-muddy water
-black coffee.

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
-mixed drinks
-kosher wine
-Snapple
-sparkling water

17. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.

18. Some Blues names for women:
Sadie
Big Mama
Bessie
Fat River Dumpling

Some Blues names for men:
Joe
Willie
Little Willie
Big Willie

Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, and Rainbow can't sing the
Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make yer own Blues name (starter kit)

name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.) last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc.

20. I don't care how tragic your life: you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues. You best destroy it- with fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or get out a shotgun. Maybe your big woman just done sat on it.

Revisions made by the place called spa:
30/4/2011

21. Under no circumstances can a white man sing the Blues to anything close to mediocrity.

Add beer to section 16.

_________________
-"You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?"
-"No, not really. This is a different thing, it's spontaneous and it's called wit."

Done.

Reminds me of this.

Teenagers can sing blues but that was in the 20's 30's and they all died by the time they were 30 too.

You can sing the blues in places that it doesn't rain. New Orleans... delta blues anyone? Or how about the majority of southern states, if you're under the threat of lynching you can probably sing the blues well.

The only real rule though, and its missing from you list, is that under no circumstances can you ever sing the blues if you're white.

_________________

Have you not seen a cheesy wedding band

_________________
-"You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?"
-"No, not really. This is a different thing, it's spontaneous and it's called wit."

By the way, on white people's blues, I just found out Hugh Laurie will soon release his debut album!

The list goes on forever, it's impossible to transcribe it all.

If you've got that soul, though, you already know them all. So this is for those white boys who ain't got nothin' like those goodies.