Here's a chat log of me and my mates trying to decide what to do tonight. It's a laborious process...

cott says:
Yikes
Master of Ambiguity says:
i'd ruin her
Master of Ambiguity says:
i have weird urges
Scott says:
I'll never be able to look Jennifer in the eyes again now
Master of Ambiguity says:
i like to slice a bitch when i fuck her
Scott says:
Your a wrong un!
DrMcMoist says:
Yeah. She's had this effect on you now and you haven't even spoken to her
DrMcMoist says:
HAH
Scott says:
Nah that's just Tom in general
DrMcMoist says:
That was straight out of left field Tom
Scott says:
You've obviously never seens Tom's collection of sex knives then mate
Master of Ambiguity says:
i told you to stay out my drawers
Scott says:
Drawer!? they were mounted on the walls
Scott says:
With a big banner above em
Scott says:
"SEX KNIVES"
Master of Ambiguity says:
ach there just the warm up blades
Master of Ambiguity says:
i go in the drawer once i get a sweat on
Scott says:
Ah
Scott says:
That's not a punching bag on the wall is it
Scott says:
It's some sort of twisted sex apparatus
Master of Ambiguity says:
its were i keep the bits
DrMcMoist says:
Jesus Christ
Scott says:
?
Scott says:
I'm sure the bits aren't Jesus
DrMcMoist says:
Your bits aren't Jesus
Scott says:
Of course they are
DrMcMoist says:
So what the fuck are we doing tonight?
DrMcMoist says:
Answer me you cunts
Scott says:
Dunno
DrMcMoist says:
That's not an acceptable response
DrMcMoist says:
Come on Tom, take charge
Scott says:
Why don't we just give up and go to the Ark
Master of Ambiguity says:
i aint fucking jesus bit i'll will meet you guys in town i will gbetween now and whenever
Master of Ambiguity says:
but
Master of Ambiguity says:
are we waiting for scott
Master of Ambiguity says:
cause then its less open
Master of Ambiguity says:
c'mon people
Scott says:
Well i assumed you were talking to Craig
DrMcMoist says:
Well if we're waiting for Scott we could have a cheeky half before closing time
Master of Ambiguity says:
ha
Scott says:
I'll come down there a fist you to death with the gauntlet of anal punishment for such insolence!!!
DrMcMoist says:
I'd still be waiting till 10 o'clock tonight for that
Scott says:
and*
Scott says:
Nah the glove and the travel are free
Master of Ambiguity says:
well just come out and dont spend any money
Scott says:
I could be down town now i just wont have any money
DrMcMoist says:
That was weird
Scott says:
Which sucks balls
Scott says:
Donkey balls
DrMcMoist says:
He responded to what you said before you said it
DrMcMoist says:
Well you need money
Master of Ambiguity says:
i read ahead
DrMcMoist says:
Saying that, even then it will only be about 6 o'clock... you know. If you actually came on time
Scott says:
You are seriously pushing it man
Scott says:
I'll come down on time if only just to whoop your ass
Master of Ambiguity says:
scott your so testy chill
DrMcMoist says:
You're actually having a go at me?
DrMcMoist says:
I've known you for fucking years and I think you've been on time twice
Scott says:
Pf course i'm not having a go ya fucking Weeaboo i'm just razzin ya
Scott says:
of*
DrMcMoist says:
Well that's all fine and well but we still don't have a solid plan
Scott says:
No
Master of Ambiguity says:
i wanna RAWK
Scott says:
Well since you two will be there before me
Scott says:
Well we can drink in the solid RAWK if you want
Master of Ambiguity says:
nah
DrMcMoist says:
nah, fuck that place. I don't want to sit and drink a beer whilst simultaneously smelling 80 smelly Goth armpits
DrMcMoist says:
Not to mention the ball sweats
DrMcMoist says:
The GOD DAMN BALL SWEATS!!!!
DrMcMoist says:
And it's female equivelant. Which I will not even name.....
Master of Ambiguity says:
theres a couple o other places
DrMcMoist says:
How about The Mussel Inn. The rudest seafood place in town?
Scott says:
You know i love it there
Scott says:
Rufus T firefly's ?
DrMcMoist says:
Stop it with the rocker places man, those people suck ass
Scott says:
Rufus is just another bar
DrMcMoist says:
I'm regressing. I want to kick it with some neds
Scott says:
Well you'll be on your own with those wee retard knucle draggin fuckwits then
DrMcMoist says:
Why don't we just load up with some Buckfast and some Mad Dog and we'll go drink it up the Canal in Kirkie?
Scott says:
It's like a canal festival so that would be a bad idea
Master of Ambiguity says:
what about strathclyde union its the cheapest place
DrMcMoist says:
We're not students
Scott says:
Don't you need a student card?
Master of Ambiguity says:
beers only 50p a gallon
Master of Ambiguity says:
nah
Master of Ambiguity says:
they done away with that
Scott says:
Cheep drink is what had me so fucked up yesterday
DrMcMoist says:
Sounds OK to me. Student women will let you do anything to them
Master of Ambiguity says:
ur just a lightweight
DrMcMoist says:
And they're easy. Not like those fucking TARTS that think they're too good to take it up the shitter!
Scott says:
You'ra all class
Master of Ambiguity says:
stuck up bitches
Scott says:
You're*
DrMcMoist says:
Too right Tom, too right.
Scott says:
I'm gonna have to get the whole white trainers bullshit tonight
Scott says:
Saying that i could just go in full NAN mode
Scott says:
Black shirt, trousers and shoes
DrMcMoist says:
Do that mate, that's a good look
DrMcMoist says:
I'd do it too but I'm wearing my white trainers
DrMcMoist says:
I've been working so much I've barely worn them since I got them
Scott says:
what if you get turned away at the door?
DrMcMoist says:
I won't get turned away. It's other people I'm with that get turned away
DrMcMoist says:
So if you don't get turned away then it's all good
DrMcMoist says:
You might look a bit out of place with all black on but just say you were working on a high powered case which you can't discuss
DrMcMoist says:
Then angrily slam your glass down on the bar and demand another shot
Scott says:
The only thing i'll look is good!
Scott says:
Damned Good
DrMcMoist says:
Coolio
Scott says:
Nah that's not an option anyway
DrMcMoist says:
Why the fuck not?
Scott says:
My black shirt is in the wash and the only one that appears to be clean is my never worn pink shirt
DrMcMoist says:
Wear that then
DrMcMoist says:
And it's not pink. It's salmon
Scott says:
I feel it gives out the wrong message
Scott says:
Oh no it's pink it even said so on the label
DrMcMoist says:
Way I see it is there's two kinds of guys that wear pink shirts. Gay guys and guys who are a bit fucked up in the head
Scott says:
And you know me i don't have the fashion sense to be a gay
DrMcMoist says:
When you enter the bar just start going mental over something completely trivial and you'll be pegged in the psycho category
DrMcMoist says:
Start shouting at Tom cause he's staring at your hair
DrMcMoist says:
I'll pretend to hold you back. We'll apologise to the Bouncer while you seethe and mutter under your breath and the job's a good un'
Scott says:
Speaking of Tom he's gone quiet hasn't he
DrMcMoist says:
Oh Thomas
DrMcMoist says:
Where art thou?
Scott says:
Sharpening the sex knives i would imagine
DrMcMoist says:
Hehe. He's got a long night ahead of him
Master of Ambiguity says:
back in 5
Scott says:
He's fast i'll give him that

DrMcMoist says:
Sounds OK to me. Student women will let you do anything to them
Master of Ambiguity says:
ur just a lightweight
DrMcMoist says:
And they're easy. Not like those fucking TARTS that think they're too good to take it up the shitter!
Scott says:
You'ra all class



HAHAHA.... <3

_________________
[SpA]Revenge "Wheres the element of surpise :/"

[SpA]Mint "IN.... MY....PANTS"

[SpA]Minimoose "Revenge is going to jump out of your pants?"

yep, sounds like me when i was about 20'ish.

No wonder i like u

_________________
Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most.

The whole conversation is golden, but Scott's comment right at the end just made me laugh out loud. That's hysterical