My plan:
The day my GF turns 16 she moves to my grandmas house wich is in the center of helsinki. (now she lives about 60km from me) (also the house would be free) Then i would move in with her from my dads so i could get away from my dad. This way i would get rid of the long distance to my GF and would increase the distance to my dads from point blank range to 6km. Only problem is that i have to wait about 1.5 years so she could start highschool in helsinki.

How does it sound? any problems?

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02:47 <@NabNab> saifon: you so sexy
02:47 <+saifon> D:

Living with your GF aint a great idea until your married IMO.

But thats just dear old religious me I see far to many relationships break up cos people move in together to soon.

yow mate, do what you feel is good,. but!! yes there is always a but! Living to gether when your 16? seems a bit young!

By then we've known each other for about 1.5 years but thats still not alot of time:S
Yes i know but i just want to get rid of my dad! Like i love him but he overreacts like shit!

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02:47 <@NabNab> saifon: you so sexy
02:47 <+saifon> D:

Yeah I understand that your parents/dad suck at a certain point.
But still you are young and thats normal.
You know that when you move in with your girlfriend, that's going to be a hard task.
Keep in mind what Greasy said...I mean with couples breaking up.
Just to give you an example:
Me and my ex-girlfriend decided to live seperately here in Karslruhe (she also came to study here), because it just makes things much easier.
Even if you already know each other for a long time.
But do whatever you heart tells you mate, and be sure to discuss it with her.

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Ze Ãœbermensch

Well she loved the idea But well have to see what happens in the mean time.

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02:47 <@NabNab> saifon: you so sexy
02:47 <+saifon> D:

I don't want to sound negative and wish you and your GeForce (he, he) a lot of luck but truth be told I haven't seen many relationships that last very long at ages when you're not yet fully financially independent and ready to start a family. I know that so far you must be really ecstatic (being in love does that to people ^^) and I'm in no way saying that you might not be a shining example of a long lasting relationship but I'm simply being rational and reciting from my personal experience (or that of my friends) in these matters.

Relationships break up and depending on the circumstances this can be a very painful experience - I myself broke up with my ex-ex girlfriend after over three and a half years of being together and that was pretty hard put then again I had shorter relationships that were far easier getting in and out of... A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend of, I don't recall, 4-5 years (?) recently after being engaged (!) and living together for over a year. On the other hand I can bring up another friend who has been in a stable relationship for over 7 years now and who will finally get married with his girlfriend this fall.

To sum up - nobody will stop you from planning an epic future with the person you're currently together but be aware that relationships very often go pear-shaped and when they do it's usually nothing like in the movies with second chances, reunions and whatnot. Also, there are lots of things that can go wrong and you have no influence on. The more you plan for a joint future, the more will it hurt if and when you break up. Oh, the things we had planned with my ex-ex... But well - one usually emerges stronger and wiser after that.

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

I think you told me this before^^ But ill have to see even if we make it through this year
Btw i never take your stuff negatively because i can see from your text that you have given it some tought.

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02:47 <@NabNab> saifon: you so sexy
02:47 <+saifon> D:

Yeah - in fact all I can provide you with is my experience and we all know that you can share experiences but in the end everyone has to gather his/her own.
I mean - when I was in love with my ex-gfs the things I just wrote myself wouldn't have been of any use to me... Different lives, different stuff happening.
Statistically speaking, though, I can't think of any couple from high-school who ended up marrying each other and if I'd go further back the chances of that would be even smaller (well, can't be worse than the zero from high-school ^^).

However, when I think of it, there's a positive side to your plan - the relationships I know of that ended in marriage (apart from e.g. this 7-year couple) were usually couples that "took their relationships to the next level" pretty quickly. It might sound cliché but it's true - moving in together really is a big step forward in any relationship but there are yet more steps after that...

Nevertheless there are SO many variables to consider - I know of many failed relationships stemming from the fact that the couple in question moved in together too quickly and e.g. wasn't ready (emotionally, financially, you name it) to go to the next stage (Marriage? Children? Whatever comes first. =) as decisively.

I'd say - enjoy the moment and see what comes next. ^^

Also, remember that being in love (as in: being enamored) with someone and loving someone are actually different things (we have two separate words for that in Polish ^^) and it's the couples that form deeper bonds (actual love) that last after the chemistry in your organism has settled that survive in the end (well, not the parents of a friend of mine who split after ~30 years of marriage ;-).

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

It's an experience. You might end up broken hearted, you might end up hating the person you once shared the bed with or you might live happily ever after. The outcome of a relasionship can't be predicted, you don't know if anything will be left once the bubble pop cherry love fades but that doesn't matter. Enjoy the relationship and let time tell. Whatever the outcome it'll definetly be an experience you will learn a lot from. You want to move in together? Go for it. Don't let other peopel tell you it'll end badly (though myself agree with them). Try it out for yourself because even if you fuck up it's a step forward.

And Lim, there is a reason why people fall in love easier at first, when they are really young. You can't expect to debate with someone in that situation when having years and years of experience luggage more. Even if you know you are right because you've been through it. My parents always told me that a smart person learns from other people's mistakes but sometimes it's just better to learn things on your own and it's better to make mistakes than regret chances you never took. Yeah, it only sounds easy in theory, I know.


ninja edit.
And yeah, we have different words for in love and love in Romanian too but neither of us would know the difference between the two if we hadn't taken chances on our own when the opportunity arrose. ^.^

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Comfortably Numb

Yup, agree with you 100% - I expressed a similar view in some parts of my previous somewhat lengthy posts.
Exchange experiences, learn from them, but in the end you have to go through your life yourself. =)

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

Yep.

And to wrap up my also lenghty post:

NabNab, go for it. Move in together. It doesn't matter you're too young to be able to undertake a serious relationship. You're not looking for a spouse, you're looking for all kinds of emotional and sexual experiences, butterflies in your stomach and tears. Enjoy the road and don't get scared when the dead end hits, it happens to everyone. Cheers!

Just don't be too hard on your parents. They most probably only mean well and it's normal to disagree with them all the time.

ps. It's refreshing to see that the SpA forums have room for let's say "sensible discussions" without trolls hitting it because everybody's a comedian. GG moderators/admins!

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Comfortably Numb

Living together can work this or that way. After 1,5 years I moved together with my ex-girfriend and we broke up after another half year. Now I'm living around 3 years with my current girlfriend together and she moved almost from the start into my flat, cause she had to leaved her own one. But... ok... I'm not the youngest anymore.

I know that 60km can really be sucky. In the beginning of the relationship with my ex we lived 45km from eachother (which was a 45min drive). Relationships over distance can really suck.

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SaintK: I'm completely lost

Holy crap dude is this the same girl you were getting the courage to ask out a few months ago? If so nice one!

I must agree with everyone and asy go for it, just try not to burn your bridges with your folks. If it works great if it doesn't then it just part of the learning experience.

I wish I had taken a few more risks when I was your age and I now know that they weren't really risks at all, just missed opportunities.

Good luck

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The stats below lie. I'm actually much much worse.

Nope shes totally another person^^

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02:47 <@NabNab> saifon: you so sexy
02:47 <+saifon> D:

Have you actually asked your Grandma yet? I mean, can she pay to look after you and your GF?

Anyway, really hope it works out and Good Luck.

Well everything is already said I think,
but me and Unity are already 7 years together, and we live 120km away from each other, and I was 13 when we met each other. So it can also go great when you don't live together. Don't know if it would be different if we would live together, but nobody knows that.
Hopefully we will be able to live together in two years when I am going to start my master at another university.
But I would say that nobody knows things for sure, so maybe living together your age is totally wrong, you don't know when you don't try it.

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I miss my pownie

I could tell you some horror stories concerning living with your girlfriend.

I've had some bad experiences.

They really made me jaded and now I'm just an emotionless shell...

Wait a second... I'm crying! YIPEE!!

Shes moving out of her house this year so it'll be empty.

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02:47 <@NabNab> saifon: you so sexy
02:47 <+saifon> D: