Simimoose, deciding to pull out all the stops, sexifies himself to the max and decides to head back to the Pregnant woman's house. If he hopes to stand a chance of ensnaring her and getting in to her life, he needs to have her think he's independent and reliable.
On arrival though, he finds she isn't home. Could she be out with another man? He couldn't let that happen! He needs to sleep in a real bed every night, not just on occasion. He makes a call to her demanding her return.
Simmy Black meanwhile has decided to embrace the social world and so has taken a walk across the street to introduce himself to the neighbours. There he finds a lovely young woman and Jessica Tandy. Angered by the presence of someone so undeserving of his company though, he attempts to perplex her with talk of things she could never understand in the hope that she will either leave through embarressment of her own inadequacies or simply just die.
Having killed the Jessica Tandy lookalike, Simmy is free to chat to the lady. He is dubious about getting to close, as she is a Police Officer and he is a Career Criminal. Well.... he's not yet. He hasn't even been for his first day of 'work' but he's well up for it. Still, he can't help but feel an attraction and longs to get closer to her.
Back at Prego's House, Simimoose is brushing his teeth in anticipation of some hot oral action when....
... The crazy bitch only goes into labour!
Naturally, no Prego action will AGAIN take place, as the Pregnant Woman is rushed to Hospital. Simimoose is understandably crushed, as he knows that once again he will be confined to that stupid couch.
Simmy Black on the other hand, has a little skip in his step, as for the first time in ages he feels like he's met someone he can be close to.
The next day, Simimoose once again decides to go jogging to the beach. He could just casually drop by Prego's House and see how her new Baby is... That's normal. It's not like he's stalking her.
Unfortunately due to a severe lack of bed sleeping, Simimoose can't even make it to the beach. He passes out on a park bench.
Simmy Black decides to employ a Maid Service cause the house is a shit hole.
He then gets down to some serious forum trolling.
Simimoose, having awoken from his public slumber, decides to grab some food down by the park...
...When he receives a phone call from his work about his failure to turn up for his first day. He realises that if he is to pursue the Rich Single Mothers, he can't be tied down by steady employment. He tells them to go fuck themselves then makes his way to Ex-Prego's House.
When he gets there though, she isn't in again. Phoning twice might seem a bit desperate. He'll just wait until she returns from whatever DICK SHE'S BOUNCING ON!!!!!
When she does return, he tries his best to keep cool. No sudden movements, no tears, no threatening to slice your wrists with a razor unless she agree's to love you forever. Just a nice friendly hug and some unassuming veiled comments. And yes, that is her Day Old Baby on the floor. And yes, she did leave it there when she was out.
With lack of sleep seriously encroaching on his mental stability though....
.... And a hunger that even has him contemplating eating Ex-Prego's neglected child.......
........ Which would seriously be much better than her home cooking........
..... Simimoose takes the plunge and asks if he can spend the night. The general hope being that one can lead to two. Two to Four. And Four to Nine Hundred And Twenty Seven. He is rejected though. He feels sick to his stomach.
On returning home, Simimoose decides he won't be standing for this shit anymore, and attempts to retake the bed.
An argument breaks out between the two...
... Which causes the sleep deprived Moose to collapse on a heap on the floor.
Simmy Black having been woken from his sleep takes a dump which blocks the toilet. He unlclogs it however, only to take a shower and break it. This unfortunately he can't repair on his own.
The next day, the Boys are pissed off to find that their new Maid is a Dude. And not only that but they can't afford to pay for his services.
With Simimoose doing an epic morning workout, he is starting to stink up the place good style. He can't head down to Ex-Prego's House smelling like this.
After being told about the woman across the street by Simmy Black, he decides to go across and 'introduce' himself.
Inside, Simimoose hopes he can distract the ladies from his stench if he pulls off some impressive dance moves.
He can't and only pushes them away.
Luckily, the smell is enough to intoxicate the owner of the house enough for Simi to nip in and use her shower.
And now, fully rejuvenated, he will conquer the castle of Ex-Prego and make her bed his own!
But ONCE AGAIN SHE ISN'T HOME!!! I bet her Baby is though. Maybe he could steal it and hold it for ransom? And with that money buy himself his own place, with a King Sized Bed. No... What is he thinking. He's not a Monster...
Simimoose thinks however that her trash will reveal some choice titbits about her life and allow him to get to know her better. Either that or he can rustle up something to chew on for the long walk back home.
The judgemental glare of a passer by lets Simi know the error of his ways though. What was he doing chasing after this woman? He needed to go home and rethink his life direction.
Simmy Black decides that he's played it cool for long enough and returns to the Neighbours house for some further flirtation.
On arrival though, he's pissed off to find some old dude Muscling in on his Woman.
He screams vile obscenities in his face.
Says he has a dick like a Llama.
Slaps his old chops.
The Owner of the House, clearly angered by the sight of Simmy beating up her Elderly Guest asks both of them to leave.
Simmy restrains himself. He doesn't want to alienate this woman. So he waits until he is outside, then kicks the everloving shit out of the old dick.
Which he follows up with his patented 'Victory Waffles'
Which Simi joins him to eat. The Boys make up for their run in and agree that they've both got some problems. With barely any money left to fix the Shower or Hire a Maid, the two seem like they've got an uphill struggle ahead of them. There is some light at the end of the tunnel though with Simmy starting his career as a Criminal. Maybe he can steal enough cash to get them back on their feet. It will take baby steps though, and not getting shot. That's a very important factor. Don't get shot.
And with Simimoose unable to bag the rich Pregnant chick, his confidence is hitting rock bottom. Without her cash and comfortable furniture, he fears he will probably perish out on the street. Tune in next time to find out, on 'The House That SpA Built'
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