Carrots.
Yes, you heard me. Carrots. It's that simple. Pick a color you want and just eat them. Reasons for eating them instead of other bad crap are:
- Orange or whatever color you want
- Crunchy
- Healthy
- Refreshingly cold (unless you're a dolt and don't refridgerate them)
- You don't make a complete mess and your keyboard/mouse stay clean (though eating like a swine won't really help)
What's that? Just how healthy carrots are? Here's wikipedia to the fucking rescue (like with the rest of the thread):
- Carbohydrates 9 g
- Sugars 5 g
- Dietary fibre 3 g
Fat 0.2 g
Protein 1 g
Vitamin A equiv. 835 μg 93%
- β-carotene 8285 μg 77%
Thiamine (Vit. B1) 0.04 mg 3%
Riboflavin (Vit. B2) 0.05 mg 3%
Niacin (Vit. B3) 1.2 mg 8%
Vitamin B6 0.1 mg 8%
Vitamin C 7 mg 12%
Calcium 33 mg 3%
Iron 0.66 mg 5%
Magnesium 18 mg 5%
Phosphorus 35 mg 5%
Potassium 240 mg 5%
Sodium 2.4 mg 0%
For your information, I eat 0.001 metric fuckton (which is 1 metric fuckilogram) of carrots per week. Yeah. I'm as healthy as a red crab rabbit.
Now to the bad part.
You've probably heard of hyperalimentation. If not, you've probably heard of hypervitaminosis. If not, you're probably gonna understand when I say vitamin poisoning.
Yes, vitamins are all good and hexagonal but overdosing them can be worse than with alcohol. Or heroin. Maybe not, but still it can get pretty bad. Since there are several types of hypervitaminosises...es, let's focus on hypervitaminosis A.
The bad stuff:
- birth defects (ouch)
- liver problems (bad)
- reduced bone mineral density that may result in osteoporosis (not good)
- coarse bone growths (ugh)
- skin discoloration (disgusting)
- hair loss (do not want)
- excessive skin dryness/peeling (that's not very good)
- idiopathic intracranial hypertension (in other words, your brain will have a tiny iota too much pressure on it)
But hey, apart from the horrible diseases and conditions it can cause, at least you can't really get fat from those.
)
Just ask Frosty! 
