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scatter's sensual adventure
https://forum.specialattack.net/viewtopic.php?t=8410		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  [SpA]Scatterbrain [ 24 Oct 2010, 18:10 ]
Post subject:  scatter's sensual adventure
blatantly stolen from mcmoist. OH WELL.



You open your eyes. Bad move - turns out that it doesn't make much of an improvement. Everything looks dark and really blurry anyway. It will probably improve as you come to. You decide to close them again; after a concerted attempt at this, you decide to make do managing to get only one eyelid closed. You decide that your other eyelid can, quite frankly, go fuck off.

As you start to come to your senses, it occurs to you that you are lying down. Ah! Now, this makes more sense. You are so used to waking up, lying on your side without a clue who you are, where you're at and what in the hell is happening that it no longer worries you. In fact, it's kind of reassuring. In a weird sort of way.

But you notice - as far as that goes when you haven't the fucking foggiest what is going on - that you can't move your head. It's like your face is stuck to the ground by... something sticky. You're not sure what exactly this sticky substance may be.

...Well, at least you probably had an interesting night!

What do you do? >_
Author:  [SpA]SaintK [ 24 Oct 2010, 18:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
Image
Author:  [SpA]Scatterbrain [ 24 Oct 2010, 18:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
thread derailed!

D:
Author:  PetePorty [ 24 Oct 2010, 19:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
A kiwi!
Author:  [SpA]Minimoose! [ 24 Oct 2010, 19:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
well that's cute
Author:  DrMcMoist [ 24 Oct 2010, 19:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
Mine ended with the complete annihilation of Earth and mankind. What promises can you give us that this one won't end the same way?
Author:  [SpA]Scatterbrain [ 24 Oct 2010, 20:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
well, it appears that our intrepid adventure got killed by an adorable wild kiwi before he ever got anywhere. a tragic ending, even if it wasn't exactly the apocalypse.
Author:  [SpA]Dekar [ 24 Oct 2010, 23:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
> Try to move various bodyparts and use all senses you still possess to gather informations about your surroundings!
Author:  DrMcMoist [ 25 Oct 2010, 01:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
>Urinate liberally into the wind.
Author:  [SpA]Unity [ 27 Oct 2010, 12:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
> Try licking up the substance.
Author:  ProtectMyBalls [ 27 Oct 2010, 12:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
so..... the kiwi did it?
Author:  sebas [ 27 Oct 2010, 13:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
God dammit! Am I the only one who keeps CONSTANTLY reading the topic title as scatter's sexual adventure?!
Author:  [SpA]SaintK [ 27 Oct 2010, 13:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
[SpA]sebas wrote:
God dammit! Am I the only one who keeps CONSTANTLY reading the topic title as scatter's sexual adventure?!
Prolly yes, but we can fix that :mrgreen:
Author:  ProtectMyBalls [ 27 Oct 2010, 13:19 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
when's the movie coming out :shock:
Author:  annarack [ 27 Oct 2010, 17:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
[SpA]sebas wrote:
God dammit! Am I the only one who keeps CONSTANTLY reading the topic title as scatter's sexual adventure?!
Ha ha that is exactly how I just read it :5:
Author:  [SpA]Scatterbrain [ 27 Oct 2010, 17:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
you guys :ugly:




That's a good few minutes you've been lying here, semi-conscious, and it looks like things aren't going to get better by themselves. This calls for action!
Dekar wrote:
> Try to move various bodyparts and use all senses you still possess to gather informations about your surroundings!
The first order of the day is a swift self diagnosis. Legs? Shaky, though present. Bladder? Critical mass, but that will have to wait wait. Arms? Check... wait. Wait a minute.

You become aware that you are grasping a cold hard object of some sort. With some effort, and a little haphazardly, you manage to bring your hand, still clutching said object, to your face. Even in the dim light (you still can't tell if it's actually dark or if you just haven't come round properly yet) you manage to make out the shape of a bottle. Your nose reports the stink of malt whisky.

You wonder...
[SpA]Unity wrote:
> Try licking up the substance.
Could this dubious liquid that entraps you be, in fact, your beverage of choice? Only one way to find out!

Though you persist, it turns out, sadly, that your tongue can't quite reach the ground from this position. This'll require some strategic manoeuvring, you reckon. Summoning more strength than you have mustered thus far, you attempt to lift yourself off the ground using your arm... only, you manage to stick your hand in the sticky stuff, and now it's stuck. Nice going, dipshit.

However, by some method that involves a good deal of flailing around, you manage to free yourself from the puddle of your misery, raise yourself precariously onto your feet and OH DEAR MOTHER OF MARY YOUR HEAD.

It's pretty apparent that you have a hangover. Not just any old hangover - you should know. You aim to have as many hangovers as possible. Today, though, you have the mother and father of all hangovers that ever hung-over anybody, a raging hangover of titanic proportions that feels like it won't go away for weeks... mission accomplished!

As if to dampen the glorious moment, it turns out that your bladder won't hold any longer.
[SpA]DrMcMoist wrote:
>Urinate liberally into the wind.
Have you ever tried undoing the buttons on your jeans when most of your cognitive functioning has gone AWOL? It's not easy. Nevertheless, you accomplish the task just in time to let fly into the chilly November wind. It lasts for ages. Amidst the pounding in your head, you feel a strange sense of pride at managing to evade total self-wetting embarrassment.

If you can manage that, you can manage anything. And with the biggest hangover you've ever had? Today, you think, might just be the day!


What do you do now?
>_
Author:  annarack [ 27 Oct 2010, 17:55 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
Get some more whisky


*anna high fives the title change*
Author:  [SpA]Minimoose! [ 27 Oct 2010, 18:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
Has sex with anything in sight
Author:  [SpA]Unity [ 27 Oct 2010, 19:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
Have sex with anna, while highfive-ing
Author:  ProtectMyBalls [ 27 Oct 2010, 20:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
Has sex with his own face.
Author:  sebas [ 27 Oct 2010, 23:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
has sex...WITH SEX!
Author:  [SpA]gibboss28 [ 27 Oct 2010, 23:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
Have sex with the fact that a bunch of us are going up to Glasgow for the weekend to drink and be merry for an entire weekend

With the fact, not the people. Just to be clear. :18
Author:  [SpA]Dekar [ 27 Oct 2010, 23:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
Blow the bottle like a rape whistle. :wink:
Author:  [SpA]Scatterbrain [ 29 Oct 2010, 19:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
Yep. Today might just be the day...
[SpA]Minimoose! wrote:
Has sex with anything in sight
[SpA]Unity wrote:
Have sex with anna, while highfive-ing
[SpA]ProtectMyBalls wrote:
Has sex with his own face.
[SpA]Unity wrote:
Have sex with anna, while highfive-ing
[SpA]ProtectMyBalls wrote:
Has sex with his own face.
[SpA]sebas wrote:
has sex...WITH SEX!
[SpA]gibboss28 wrote:
Have sex with the fact that a bunch of us are going up to Glasgow for the weekend to drink and be merry for an entire weekend

With the fact, not the people. Just to be clear. :18
On that note, a slew of wild, horny thoughts rage against each other, sparked off by this small hope, this tiny shadow of implication that you might just be able to make something of this. But somewhere in the cacophonous and horny shouting match that is your conscious thought stream, a small besuited man clambers on top of a table, checks his watch and quietly clears his throat, before bellowing at everyone else to shut the hell up. Having gained your full attention, he plunges into an impassioned speech, reminding everyone of why we got so hungover in the first place; that if we are to truly experience life to the fullest, then the best, the only way to go about that is to have ourselves an adventure - and how all of the greatest adventures, as the finest scholars of our generation have proved, began with a hangover. Take, for instance, the journey of Arthur Dent; surely he had one of the greatest adventures that ever was had! And do you know what he had at the start of that adventure? A hangover! And what bout Asterix and Obelix stories? Those guys did practically everything while feeling a bit worse for wear! And... well, he can't think of any other examples right now, but the point is that with a hangover like this then a mindblowing adventure is pretty inevitable, and it will probably involve sex at some point, so let's not get impatient, eh?

You decide to accept the advice of the small voice in your head. He sounds like a reasonable kinda guy.
[SpA]annarack wrote:
Get some more whisky
That said, you've been hungover plenty of times before (read: whenever you aren't trying to get hungover again), without making much progress on the whole adventure thing. Nevertheless, you've learned to be persistent and to plan ahead - it'd be best to set about acquiring some pretty sooner rather than later, what with you being a staunch realist and all. It's good to have something to focus on, you think. Priority numero uno is now acquiring liquor.

But first!
Dekar wrote:
Blow the bottle like a rape whistle. :wink:
Your daily exercise. Adventurers must be in tip-top physical condition, you know! You put the mouth of the empty bottle to your lips, breathe in as much you can and blow it out over the rim of the bottle until you go red in the face; repeat until knackered. Keep it up long enough, and it's quite the aerobic workout - it keeps up your lung capacity too. Even if you do look a little ridiculous, you're sure you'll appreciate it if you ever have to swim out of a booby-trapped underwater cavern through waters infested with exploding sharkzombies. Or something. If there's one thing you've got, then it's dedication baby! And if it isn't that, then your imagination probably makes up for it!

It would seem that all of this bottle-blowing has attracted the attention of a figure on the horizon. This figure, it appears, is coming towards you...


What do you do?
>_
Author:  [SpA]Toresson [ 29 Oct 2010, 20:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
>ejaculate furiously
Author:  [SpA]Minimoose! [ 29 Oct 2010, 20:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
>strip off into superman pants
Author:  [SpA]Unity [ 29 Oct 2010, 22:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
> imitate macgyver
Author:  [SpA]Dekar [ 30 Oct 2010, 00:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
> macgyver indeed
Author:  axtrom [ 31 Oct 2010, 07:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's textual adventure
[SpA]annarack wrote:
[SpA]sebas wrote:
God dammit! Am I the only one who keeps CONSTANTLY reading the topic title as scatter's sexual adventure?!
Ha ha that is exactly how I just read it :5:
same here
Author:  ProtectMyBalls [ 03 Nov 2010, 19:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: scatter's sexual adventure
fancy a bum?
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