You can hear it too Lim-Dul if you put your ear to the ground.

I just need to wrestle it from this vicious beast first, even he can sense the magic emanating from it...



If I'm still alive after that, I'll continue with my quest.

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Ha, ha! Awesome! And the cat is sooooo cute! :-D

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

It took some patience, but I succeeded in stealing it while he was on a bathroom break. I would not dare to fight such a ferocious hell-cat head on.

Look at all those glorious megabytes entering my system!

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BLASPHEMY!!! it's in suomi!

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[SpA]Revenge "Wheres the element of surpise :/"

[SpA]Mint "IN.... MY....PANTS"

[SpA]Minimoose "Revenge is going to jump out of your pants?"

What exactly is going on in this thread?

I know it!

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SaintK: I'm completely lost

You see i was wondering the same....

Follow the game guessing thread from this post onwards for a while:

http://forum.specialattack.net/viewtopi ... 266#p30266

I posted The Mark, one of the worst FPSes I ever played (I had to review it), and Doomshine was persistent enough to find it. Hence I decided to send him a signed copy of the game as a (dubious) reward - I even translated all the in-game menus so he doesn't get lost. Now I expect him to play through this game (at least for a while) and report his progress. :-D

I tell ya - the final boss alone is worth finishing the game. I don't recall a more EPIC fight since he has like a million HPs and thus the battle lasts for like 15 minutes with you emptying all your weapons into one guy. :-D
Not to mention the final cut-scene that leaves the possibility of a sequel - ha, ha, ha!

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

DAY 1: ENTER HELL

The gates of oblivion


Apparently some dude is about to launch a missile from an aircraft carrier, I don't care, I'm here to kick ass and take names.


Speaking of names, meet me, Steven MOTHERFUCKING "Fletch" Fletcher, my skull is so thick I don't need a helmet.


Oh God, I've started.


My weapons, let me show you them:

A knife, it must be fitted with a suppressor, because I can't hear shit when I stab something with it.


A pistol, nothing special really. Hey guys, don't open the door, I'm checking out my weapons here.


Machine gun nr. 734A1, awesome. HEY! I said don't open the damn door!


OH SHII-


FUUUCK!


Screw this, I'm going to hide in this container over here.


Hey look, it's Austin "Looks good in black" Hawke, I'm sure you have something interesting to say, but it's time for some combat!


AAAARGH OH GOD WHAT'S GOING ON!? Am I in Bat Country?


*Cue obligatory bullet-time ability* Ah that's better, now I can stab this guy in the face!


Oh that's right, I also have grenades...


Let's try one shall we?


And let's pretend they don't exist and move on...

After killing about 20 generic dudes, I had no idea what to do next. I tried politely asking Etha- I mean Austin Hawke, but it was no use. I'd hit him, but he was wearing glasses.


Wait a minute, what's this, oh, I'm supposed to plant bombs? I guess I wasn't paying attention when they told - oh wait, that's right, NO ONE told me...


Success! Let's run out in a slow but cool fashion. Apparently I become transparent when I do this.


I think I did well.



I'm not feeling well, I must rest now...

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Ha, ha - notice the atrocious motion blur effects visible on some of the screens. :-D

Not to mention that the intro is not animated but consists of stills instead. :-D

I'm not sure if this was the cut-scene I'm talking about - perhaps there's a similar one later on - but when our two "heroes" ran through the door in slow motion (last screen) I almost pissed myself. They're animated so badly that they looked as if they were skating and the pompous slo-mo effect only added to the hilarity of the situation. ;-)

P.S. Great job, Doomshine - you could be a video game journalist. I didn't expect you to put that much effort into playing this turd. ^^
Wonderful things, like enemies taking several magazines to the head to die, missions on an aircraft carrier where enemies snipe you from 500 meters making up for their lack of AI with perfect shooting skills or levels where half the corridors and rooms have been copy&pasted, still await you. ^^

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

DAY 2: FRUSTRATION

So...

as you can see here (I didn't) the developers actually bothered to make health carry over from the previous mission, that's cool isn't it?


Well, they also did something that isn't quite as cool. Like the exclusion of Quick Save (unless it's hidden somewhere in the Polish).
Long story short: I died around the next corner, which is weird, because I completed the first mission with a coffee cup in one hand.
So I clicked, expecting the game to load my last save, you know, basic stuff. Guess what? It didn't...the game decided it would be convenient to put me back in the FIRST level as the OTHER character........

JURASSIC FUCKING PARK!


The rest of the mission could be described as this:

Ooh, sparks!


Yay, fire!


Lol, ragdollz!




Awesome! (I think this is the part Lim-Dul.)


Done! Somebody shoot me.

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DAY 3: QUESTIONS

Day 3 of my journey, or is it 3? I've lost count.
Darkness shrouds my mind as I continue to delve deeper into my psyche. I fear for my sanity.

This journey has also raised a few questions...

Why are all new weapons shit?

Why am I suddenly fighting Arabs?

Why was I chased by a bulldozer for no apparent reason?

Why do enemies keep emerging from the very spot I just killed them in?

Why did I say "here comes the moron parade" when I brutally splattered a man's brain substance over the wall?

I leave you with this picture, maybe it will give you an idea of the horrors I have to deal with:

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a motorbike? rofl
u running this game on lowest settings? caus it fucking looks like cs 1,6

Everything turned on (there are no options for AF or AA) @ 1024x768x32.

It still runs like ass...an ass dipped in glue.

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There is a quick save... Hmmm - I think it's F5? Try any of the F# keys...

Don't expect that to save (pun intended) you since the game messes up some save games or the scripts in the level so it becomes unbeatable. ;-)
That's a good question. ^^
So you noticed that there's absolutely NO AMMO for your main weapon and you have to resort to some total crap the enemies are dropping while they become tougher and tougher?
Arabs are a popular target nowadays. Do you need a reason to fight Arabs? The Americans sure don't. :-P
Ha, ha - forgot that epic part. ^^
See my note about the "x-ray vision" ability. ^^
Behold the power of "spawning from thin air".
Ah, yeah - the one-liners. I found them SO hilarious. Actually I even mentioned the "moron parade" in my review since I found it SO fitting considering the lack of AI. ;-)
Have you noticed how you can stand behind a door and have the enemies slowly shuffle into your view one by one? Or how their tactics amount to pre-scripted dodging maneuvers regardless of what you're doing before they snap back into their "shuffle left, shuffle right" routine? =)

P.S. Has your awesome team mate already blocked some doorways so that you couldn't get through? =)

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

Once actually, my knife got acquainted with his face soon afterwards.

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You're such a brave man, Doomshine!

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SaintK: I'm completely lost

Can someone please explain to us wtf is going on here ?

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Scroll up.

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

DAY 4: OH NO, NOT ANOTHER ONE

I'm done killing Arabs now, I've moved on to guys in suits...

Christ, it's like a checklist from The Book of Generic First Person Shooters (which I'm sure the developers follow religiously).

As for pictures from the game, I've got nothing worth showing really, so instead here's my cat doing his best anime face:

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"I have come to shut this thread down. If I see anybody posting in here from now on, I will kill them.
In cold blood.
Thank you for your co-operation."
[SpA]DrMcMoist

DAY 5: MIND BLOWN



This game was released 2 fucking years after Half-Life 2.

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"I have come to shut this thread down. If I see anybody posting in here from now on, I will kill them.
In cold blood.
Thank you for your co-operation."
[SpA]DrMcMoist

i want more!!! im hooked <3 doomshine.. gief more NOW!

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Sebas the avenging zebra's sidekick! <3

Oh yeah - can it be that the next mission is on the aircraft carrier?
It's a pity I don't have screenshots of enemies clipping through walls and doors anymore - or one instance where the player model mysteriously multiplied itself. :-D
There was one scripted event that didn't trigger properly after loading the game so you had to start from the beginning, too. ^^

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

Doomshine to the rescue!





And who the hell rated my video 3 stars?

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Ha, ha, ha! Brilliant! Especially the second shot! It's like synchronized bridge clipping - the new Olympic discipline. :-D

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

THATS BLASPHEMY!!! it deserves 5 STARS AND A MEDAL OF HONOR


Here keep it

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"I have come to shut this thread down. If I see anybody posting in here from now on, I will kill them.
In cold blood.
Thank you for your co-operation."
[SpA]DrMcMoist

<-- Thank you, I'll wear it proudly on my face.

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Day 6: SURPRISES

Surprises, this game is full of them. Today I encountered this:



Notice the floating bullet holes? Yes that's right, in this room you can't shoot between the rails for some reason, resulting in an epic battle between my fellow idiot and the enemy idiot.
I could probably have left the game running all day and they would still be shooting at each other.

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