Then you need to get yourself to;

Stevenston Beach, in sunny Scotland!

Why spend thousands on a Tropical Getaway that will only leave your Bank Manager scorning, when for under £27 you could visit Stevenston and enjoy the exact same experience for much, much less!

Take a stroll along our trademark Golden Sands and feel the sun’s rejuvenating rays on your face. It’s an experience the whole family can enjoy! Worried about the kids going missing? You don’t have to be, as Stevenston beach offers peace of mind with high concrete banking, fencing and CCTV to ensure that Mum and Dad can enjoy their time together without having to constantly watch the kids. Also enjoy artwork commemorating local heroes. Like the famous Poet Laureate ‘Robert Burns’ and…. Well…. There hasn’t been anybody else but, when there is, they’ll be commemorated on beautiful Stevenston Beach! Tired of looking at sand all the time? Never fear, Stevenston Beach offers many sights, which are generously adorned along the way. Trash has been discarded here for many years and can make for some exciting scavenger hunts that liven up the day nicely. Anything from Rusty Old Tyres, Burned Out Car Shells, Used condoms and if you’re lucky, Used Syringes can all be found at wonderful Stevenston Beach! History buffs will be pleased to hear that the Luftwaffe still regularly bombs this stretch of coastline! So if you’re feeling nostalgic for Blackouts and Air Raid Shelters, get yourself down to fantastic Stevenston Beach! Wanna go Sand Dune Surfing? Can’t. Barbed wire. At miraculous Stevenston Beach! Feeling a little peckish but haven’t brought a packed lunch or picnic basket? Don’t worry; just help yourself to one of the many dead birds on the sand and bon appetit!
Fine dining is the order of the day at mesmerising Stevenston Beach! For the musically inclined, why not grab a discarded ‘JCB Hydraulic Fluid HP 46’ barrel, and drum along to all your family’s favourite hits. You’ll feel like you’re dancing on the sands of a Jamaican Reggae Beach Party, not trapped on superlative Stevenston Beach! For the more adventurous beachcombers, sand can seem a tad dull. So why not hop on to the rocks for that authentic rock walking experience (?) The trash here ensures that it never gets boring, and the constant fear that you will puncture the sole of your foot on something nasty, will keep you on your toes! All at death defying Stevenston Beach! Hey Prog Rock Lovers, want to feel like you’ve stepped onto the cover of a Pink Floyd album? Scratch your head and try to fathom why there are chunks of wall, or house, or something littering the beach. You’ll be transported back to the swinging Sixties just trying to wrap your head round it. All at groovy Stevenston Beach! Splash around with your loved ones with all types of Aquatic Fun in the surf. Or don’t, as local industry and sewage works keep these waters polluted all year round. Not to worry though, stay on the sand and everything will be fine, at glorious Stevenston Beach! If the kids are feeling a little bored, they soon won’t be, with the proliferation of old, discarded toys that have been generously left by other kids who maybe grew out of them. Those little frowns will soon be turned upside down when they see all the goodies on offer at orgasm inducing Stevenston Beach!
When you have traversed the stretch of coastline, you will probably be relieved to see civilization again. Don’t jump the gun though, as it can’t be reached from this side. And since you’ll really not want to walk back the way you came, you’re going to have to find another way out of horrifying Stevenston Beach! Hopes will soon be dashed when you reach ‘The Big Idea’, a local attraction where Science meets Fun for the whole family. With a number of attractions contained within that make learning enjoyable for the young and old alike. Opened in 2000, it then closed again in 2003 and was never re-opened. Which also means the sliding bridge, used to access the attraction, is no longer in operation. And trying to swim across to the opposite shore would almost definitely lead to your own demise, due to powerful undercurrents and the chance you may choke to death on a condom. So why not go back and visit ‘The Big Idea’? You can stare through the windows at all the potential fun you and your family could be having! Friendly on-site Security Staff will be happy to inform you that ‘The Police have been called’ and to ‘Please leave the premises’. Succulent Rabbit corpses litter the route back to ensure that the munchies won’t be something to add to your list of woes. The local Explosives Factory ensures that your hike into the unknown won’t be a boring one! With the only way back to any kind of normality being this rustic bridge across the last stretch of water you’ll ever want to see. Don’t worry about any nasty accidents though, as all possible safety measures have been taken to ensure that nobody crossing will meet their maker in the unwelcoming waters below.

Awesome as expected from you.

Makes me want to visit it.

What a lovely place.

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a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig

hmm, something seems fishy here, all this value and quality, whats the catch?

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-"You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?"
-"No, not really. This is a different thing, it's spontaneous and it's called wit."

"You can check-out any time you like, But you can never leave!"

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Dear God(if you even exist), I am willing to trade Justin Bieber, all 3 Jonases and Miley Cyrus to get Paul Gray, Ronnie James Dio, Pete Steele, Dimebag Darrell and Chuck Schuldiner back.

Nah, that's that one hotel in California.

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'Belgium, a country with many homos also have a pedophile party as far as i know.' - Violetblood

it's... a beach.

I mean, how do you fuck up a beach that bad? it's a beach. it's harmless. you're nowhere near it half of the time, and somehow it's in this godawful state. only in Ayr, eh?

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ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: true genius
ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: doesn't make sense
ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: till you're senseless

Ayrshire.

picky

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ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: true genius
ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: doesn't make sense
ュ~ちゃんgamer.jp Pinky: till you're senseless

I think im in love with this place. I smell the essence of adventure... or maybe thats burnt out cars

haha nice ad for a good holiday mate! I might actually go there some day!